11.

"Hey Kana." He says.

He approaches me to the counter smiling as well.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

At that moment I look down under my right hand realizing that there could only be one reason why Bro has come to see me. It makes me frown for a sec but I catch it at the last moment.

"Well...I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Nothing..."

Are we going to...

"Why do you ask?"

"Let's schedule an eye appointment then. You don't have to worry. I'll come with you."

"Oh..." I sulky reply.

Why do I have to get glasses? Why do my eyes have to be bad? Why does it have to be me?

I'm caught off gaurd by Bro's embrace. He calmly speaks to me stroking my hair.

"It's not so bad Kana." He says. "There are more people than you know that need help for their eyes."

I slowly nod my head.

"You know, Miki has to wear contacts."

"Miki wears contacts?" I ask surprised.

"Yup...I just saw her the other day and she showed them to me."

"I didn't know."

"Neither did I. Did you also know purple isn't her natural eye color? She actually had hazel eyes until she met you."

"Until...she met me?"

"Yea...she liked the way your eyes looked so she had contacts that did that for her as well."

So Miki needed help for her eyes as well.

I look down at the scrap book thinking about all of the images I saw.

Miki still looks beautiful with her contacts...then maybe, I can still be pretty with contacts too...

I draw away from Bro and look into his eyes as he looks into mine.

...I'm sure he'll think I'm pretty still.

12.

It's exciting.

I'm lying in the bathtub, wisps of steam rising all around me from the surface of the hot water. My hair is bundled up in a towel above my head, freshly shampooed. My knees are drawn up slightly, forming an arch. They're shaking a bit.

I'm glad that Bro visited today. It takes me forever to make decisions, and I would have kept putting it off. It's not a big deal, is it - having an eye exam? And it just means that I can get my contact lenses sooner.

Contact lenses. I had no idea Miki wore them. And what Bro said... Is that true? Can people really change the colour of their eyes? And did... did Miki really change hers to match... mine?

Impulsively, I climb out of the bathtub. Still dripping wet, I walk over to the mirror and wipe a small patch clear with the palm of my hand.

I lean closer.

No-one I know has violet eyes, except Bro. Even Miki's eyes aren't the same shade as mine - they're more of a deep maroon. I always wondered about that; I'd never seen eyes that colour either. I guess it's because her contacts deepen the real colour of her eyes.

Hazel. I don't understand why she wanted to change her eye colour. Hazel is so pretty. It's so much more... normal than my--

No. I close my eyes, fighting back the memories that suddenly start surging back to the surface of my mind. Children laughing at me. Mocking me for being different. Just because my eyes weren't the same colour as theirs. Any excuse...

"No..." I whisper, softly, but it's too late. As I open my eyes, I feel the tears trickling down my cheek. It hurts. It hurts.

I don't have to be different anymore.

The thought comes out of the blue, surprising me. I lean forward again, examining my violet irises. They don't have to stay that way. I can change.

I can change...

13.

It's time...

"...so we're going with soft cantacts and..."

The lady is helping Kana with her choice of contacts while I'm sitting down looking at some magazine. I offered to help Kana but she decided she wanted to handle this on her own.

"Okay. So we'll go with this then."

Kana nods as the lady takes the rest of the paperwork. Kana sits next to me.

"Everything ok?" I ask.

"Everything's fine." She says.

"Kana Todo?"

A gentleman comes from the back asking for Kana. It must be the doctor for her eye exam. Kana stands up and heads with him.

"I'm doctor Tanaka. Please come with me."

"I'll be back soon Bro." Kana waves off as she walks into the backroom.

---

"Please have a seat."

I sit down in the examination chair and look around. The room is dimly lit and a big contraption full of lenses and stuff.

The doctor asks some simple questions since I've never had an eye exam before. He writes his notes down and begins the examination.

"Ok...put your chin here for me please."

Dr. Tanaka brings the lens contraption in front of me.

"This will help us figure out what we need for your eyes."

I follow every instruction he gives me trying the best I can with what he asks.

"Ok. I'm going to just use your left eye first. Now..."

He turns off the lights but I can see a reflection of light with some letters.

"Let me see if you can read...this line for me please."

"Um...A, V...uhhh, Z, E and T?"

"You only see five letters Kana?"

"Think so." I uncertainly say.

"Well...let's see how you do with this."

"Um...T, U...um, 5-"

"5? Well let's try something else. Just so you know there are no numbers Kana."

"Oh!"

The letters move and they're larger than the ones before. It's easier to read those.

"Let's see...B, V, C, F, T, O."

It goes on like that for a little bit then he swings around some lenses.

"Okay...how does this look."

He flips a glass lense down and it clears my vision.

"Good."

"How about this..."

That goes on for a while then he moves to my other eye and repeats the process.

"Ok Kana...now I'm going to look at your eyes and see if they're healthy."

He shines a light in my eye.

Oh good god!

The bright light hits my retina almost making me want to shut my eye. But I endure the procedure.

"Good...Now I'm going to put this in your eyes. You'll feel a bit of pressure and I'll look at your eyes again."

Before I get a chance to say anything he tilts my head back and squeeze a couple of drops in each of my eyes.

AAAAHHHHHH!!!

I've never had anything in my eyes before. I feel the pressure he talks about and it makes me want to cry.

"I'll need you to try to keep them open please."

It must be the most difficult thing I've had to do. I try to force my eyes open but it seems I'm only doing half as good of a job I should. I feel liquid run down the sides of my cheeks.

Must...keep...eyes...open...

"Okay. That's it. Your eyes look good."

He hands me a box of tissue which I quickly grab and begin to clean my face. Dr. Tanaka finishes explaining what my eyes mean.

Basically, I'm near sighted. I can see better closer than I can far away. But I do need glasses badly he says. But everything went well. With that he leads me back to the front desk.

"Alright Kana. We have your perscription and everything is set. It will take about 14 business days for them to come in."

"Ok. Thank you." I say.

I catch up with Bro on the way out as we head back home.

"So how did it go?" He asks.

"It was hard with him shining his light in my eyes nor the stuff he put in them." I say scratching my eyes.

He laughs. "Well, you better get used to that sort of thing."

"I think it'll be easier when I do it. Besides, if Miki can do it then why can't I?"

"Hmm..."

It's the last words he speaks before changing the subject as we both head back home.

14.

"Bro?"

"Hmm?" I turn to look at Kana, who's sitting next to me in the train carriage. Brief flashes of light dart across her face as the sun glances off the buildings nearby. Her eyes still look a bit bleary, but they're getting clearer.

Ka-thunk-ka-THUNK, ka-thunk-ka-THUNK...

"I was just, um, wondering..." she starts, then trails off, looking down at her white sneakers. "...if you... th-that is, what you thought... of..."

"Kana?"

She's still not looking at me. The train rocks gently as it hurtles down the track. Our stop will be coming up soon. Mom and Dad won't be home tonight, so Kana and I are going to have dinner together. Well, actually, Kana's going to cook dinner. She wanted to repay me for going with her to the optometrist's today.

Kana bites her lip, her brow creasing slightly. "Um... how long it's going to take," she says, finally, her shoulders slumping. "Don't you think fourteen days is a long time?"

"Contacts can't be easy to make," I say, offhandedly, not knowing much about the subject. "And companies like that have a lot of clients to cater for."

"Yes," Kana murmurs, with a sigh. "People need to replace their contacts every few weeks, so you have to keep ordering new ones."

"Kana?" I reach over and take her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Her eyes widen, then she turns and looks at me, her violet eyes warm. "It'll be okay," I tell her. "It'll all be fine."

She smiles. "I know, Bro." Her fingers tighten around mine. "I just... Oh."

The train flashes past a huge billboard advertising cellular phones. It's a close-up of a girl's face, holding the phone up next to her to show how small it is. The slogan reads: 'Choose your look.'

"It's a nice phone," I say, non-committally.

"No, I was..." Kana's head droops again. "I was looking at the girl."

"You want one of those that you can keep in your pocket?" I tease.

"Bro!" she sputters, in protest. "Don't be so... so... dirty!"

"Well, what was it, then?" I ask.

"I... I see her in a lot of ads," Kana says, wistfully. "I think she has beautiful eyes. Brown eyes... so warm and friendly. Don't you think, Bro?"

I shrug. "I've never really noticed her before."

"So you... you don't think brown eyes are pretty?"

"I didn't say that. But..." I let my head tilt back a bit as I picture the girl on the billboard again. She was definitely pretty, yes, in a photo model kind of way. But still... "I prefer your eyes, Kana."

"M-mine?" She looks frightened for some reason. I look at her again and smile.

"Your eyes have always been the prettiest to me."

"Ah." Her cheeks start to colour slightly. "I... uh..."

I tighten my grip on her hand again. "You'll look just fine, Kana," I tell her. "After all, no-one will be able to see the contacts, right? You won't look any different to the way you did before."

Kana's fingers twitch briefly in my grasp. She sighs.

"Yes. I guess..."

15.

Taking care of the store, reading my books and watching T.V. all I could think about was how the new contacts were going to make all of this easier...even possible. The phone rings and I answer it. The conversation finishes and slowly set the phone down with a smile...

...They're here.

---

I'm at the optometrist's office awaiting my contacts. The lady brings me a small box and opens it up. She begins to explain what's inside...

"This is where you put your contacts. And this is your cleaning solution. Remember to take them out every night and make sure you clean them everytime before you put them in your eyes."

"Ok...Thank you. Um...when do I have to get new contacts again?" I ask.

"Oh, not for another month. We have you already on schedule so you can just come by every month and pick them up."

"Oh, I see...Thank you."

I grab my new contacts and head home to try my new eyes for the first time.

---

I've laid out all of the stuff on the bathroom counter and begin to quickly prepare my contact for use.

"Ok...make sure my hands are clean..."

*Washing hands*

"...then I take the contact and clean it with the solution."

*Drip...drip...drip*

"...then I just lift up my eye and-"

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"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

16.

"Hey, Kana."

"Bro!" I look at him, smiling, as he walks up to the counter. It's late morning and the street outside is almost painfully bright, as usual at this time of year. The sun glares off car windows as they drive past outside, and casts bright halos around the shoppers walking down the street. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon!"

He grins at me as I step out from behind the counter, then gives me a brief hug. He doesn't like to venture into 'employee territory' when he's here. ("Someone might think I actually work here!" was the way he put it when I asked.)

"So?" he asks, drawing back and looking at my face appraisingly.

I blush instinctively under his scrutiny. "Um... so...?"

"Your new eyes, silly!" He laughs. "You got your contacts yesterday, right? How are they?"

"Oh!" I summon a smile from somewhere. "They're great, Bro. I don't know how I got by without them. Everything is so much clearer now."

"That's great, Kana! See? It wasn't such a big deal after all, was it?"

"Not... at all!" I manage, keeping the bright smile plastered on my face. "I honestly don't know what I was making such a fuss about..."

"I'm glad." He grins at me for a moment, then looks back over his shoulder, casually. "Hey, Kana, do you like that girl's skirt?" he asks, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the street.

"Skirt?" I turn and look where he indicated, but no matter how hard I squint, I can't make anything out. Then I have to hide the amount of effort I was making as he turns around to face me again.

"Yeah, that girl over there in the green skirt. It's pretty, don't you think?"

"Oh, her!" I laugh. I can just barely make out a greenish blob across the street. "I don't think it would suit me, but it looks good on her."

"Kana, that's a rubbish bin," Bro says.

"It is?" I laugh again, though it sounds more nervous than amused now. "The things they make skirts out of these days..."

"Kana, you're not wearing your contacts, are you?"

"I, uh... of course I am. It's just so bright out there, and--"

"Kana."

"They hurt!" I wail. "I put one of them in yesterday and no-one told me it would feel like that! There was... there was something in my eye! It just felt all wrong. It did!"

"So you're not going to wear them?" He doesn't sound disappointed, and he doesn't sound disapproving. His voice is very carefully neutral, and I sigh, knowing what that means. He's going to appeal to my common sense, the way he always does, without making an argument out of it. Oh, I hate it when he does that! It's like he... he thinks he knows me so well that... that...

Abruptly, I feel really warm inside. Warm, and almost embarrassed. Because he does know me that well.

He does.

"Remember when we went and bought you those sneakers?" he asks, pointing at my feet.

I nod, biting my lip.

"You said they were too tight, and that they pinched your toes. We tried some different styles, but you didn't like the way those looked, so we kept coming back to these. And what did I tell you?"

"You said... you said they'd get more comfortable," I murmur. "You said I'd get used to them."

"And did you?"

"Well, yes. But--"

"You have to give it time. You have to give yourself time. Kana?" He reaches out and gently lifts my chin with one finger. I look up at him reluctantly. His eyes are so kind. "No-one's around at the moment," he says, encouragingly. "Come on, Kana. Let's go give them another try."

I can't help but smile at him. "Okay, Bro."

17.

"Come on Kana you can do it."

Bro watches me as I stare at my contact case. I slowly open it up and pull out the contact. It sits on my finger, but I can't bring any closer to my eye.

"Kana? Do you need any-"

"I'm fine Bro. I can do this."

It's no problem. It just simply goes into my eye. Everyone does it all the time. There's no reason I can't do it too.

I take my free hand and hold my eye open. Slowly...I bring the contact to my eye...

...

...

...

I quickly pull it away.

"Come on Kana. You can do this." Bro cheers me.

"I can do this...I can do this..." I chant.

Again I try. I hold my eye open. I bring the contact upwards. Just a little bit more...

...

"Ah!"

No good.

I closed my eye at the last moment, not being about to follow through.

"You need to keep your eye open Kana."

"Ah...hai."

Why can't I do this?

I look at myself in the mirror. I stare into my deep purple eyes. Those eyes that are so different from everyone elses.

I face myself. I gain my courage and composure. Again, I bring my contact to me.

"I'll do it this time."

Determined to overcome this I keep my eye open and bring it into my eye.

I can change

I put the contact into my-

"Itai!"

"Kana!? Are you ok?"

"Ugh...I'm fine Bro."

I poked my eye with my finger. The contact didn't stay in my eye and still rests on my finger.

"It's ok Kana. You're almost there."

Moisture builds up in my eye. I quickly rub it, wiping growing tears away. I refocus myself again.

This time I'm going to do it. Nothing's going to be accomplished unless I do this.

Again I go for it. I hold my eye open, I bring the contact to towards me, I slowly...ever so gently, place it in my eye.

It's in! I got the contact in my eye. I feel a little bit of pressure but it doesn't really hurt. However, I'm covering my eye at the unnatural feeling of it.

"I did it Bro!"

"That's great Kana! Let me take a look."

Bro gently moves my hand covering my eye and looks at me.

...

...

...

"Kana?"

18.

"Um... surprise?" I say, hesitantly.

Bro looks at me strangely. His brow is slightly furrowed and his head is tilted to one side as he peers at my face.

"I... uh..." he says, uncertainly.

I look into the mirror. I don't seem to look any different from this far away. A little clearer, perhaps. But as I lean closer, I can see the difference. The other Kana blinks back at me, meeting my gaze. One eye violet...

And the other eye brown.

I'm fixated by the difference. My gaze keeps shifting from one eye to the other. One deep violet; the other a warm, welcoming, normal brown.

Normal. At last. I gasp and smile, feeling tears welling up.

I have to see them both. I want the transformation to be complete.

I take the other contact from the case. As I hold it up to the light, it doesn't seem to be coloured all that deeply. The optician took measurements, though. The amount of tint was carefully judged to change my iris from one colour to another without affecting the lens transparency.

It's a bit easier putting the second one in. I have a few false starts, of course, but eventually the lens settles into place over my other eye. I turn to Bro, who's standing there looking thoughtful.

"Well?" I ask, blinking at him - partly for effect and partly because the contacts still feel a bit strange to me.

"When did you decide you wanted to change your eye colour?" he asks, leaning closer again.

"Oh. Um... well, I think it was when you told me about Miki," I tell him, looking into his eyes and smiling nervously. Will he like them? Will he think I'm pretty? "I realised that I had a chance to be different-- Well, no. It wasn't that. It's that... it's that I had a chance not to be different anymore, Bro! I don't have to stand out anymore! Look!"

I turn to the mirror again, and a completely different Kana Todo looks back at me. Two brown eyes. It makes me want to squeal.

"I look so different!" I babble, grabbing Bro's arm and dragging him to stand next to me. "Look, Bro! Look at me!"

He does. His reflection smiles at me warmly, and he nods his head.

"If you're happy with them, Kana, then so am I. You look good."

"Thank you, Bro!" And now I do squeal, clinging tightly to his side and looking up at him. "Oh, thank you so much! You were the one... The one... who..."

My words trail off. Oh, his lips are so close. His arm is around me.

My heart is pounding.

I lower my eyes. "Thank you, Bro," I whisper, in a subdued voice. "Thank you for everything."

19.

Why was I so afraid? Why did I make such a big deal about it? Why didn't I do this sooner?

It's bright and shiny Sunday morning. I climb out and fix my bed before hopping into the shower. I wash then dry myself. I get dressed and happily stride to the bathroom.

Some facial cleanser, a little blush and I gently place my contacts in my eye. They've become apart of my morning routine. I grab my purse and walk outside.

I can happily see everything and everyone. Nothing has ever been so clear in my entire life. I prance around every store acting like a little child.

I seem to touch everything, hold everything and examine everything like I've never seen it before. It's as if I was reborn again, except this time, a new, stronger, better, Kana.

I eat lunch by myself but I'm finally able to see the entire menu without struggle. I feel satisfied being about to choose for myself what I want. As I eat I look out the window to the outside world. It's so wonderful and lively. I actually can see people living. I can actually see what people do with their lives.

The sun begins to set but it has little effect on my vision. It used to be harder when it got darker. Objects and people were even more blurry than before, if I even saw them.

But not this time. I swing my arms out and dance within the trees of a park. I feel so free and giddy I keep spinning and spinning until I fall to the ground. From there I watch the leaves fall into the pond.

The sun has set and the night has filled the sky. I watch the fireflies fill the air with light with the gentle breeze sweeping through the night. The stars are shining brightly above. I look upwards and spot each star shining differently in its own way. They all no longer just look the same.

Everything is great. Everything is wonderful. Everything is as good as I hoped...

"I'm so...so very happy." I say to myself.

...in fact, better.

20.

"Ohayo gozaimasu. Can I help you?"

"Hai. How much is the postage for a letter to France?"

"France? Well, air mail would be..."

I'm standing in line at the post office, listening to the buzz of conversation around me. It's mid-morning and I closed the shop briefly to duck out and pick up a package that's been waiting here for a couple of days, from one of the store's suppliers. This time of day is usually pretty slow at the store anyway.

To amuse myself while I'm waiting, I look around the post office. There are posters on the walls, and I can read even the smallest print on all of them! I pick out the French flag on a large banner on the far wall. I wonder what it would be like to visit Paris. Maybe one day, if I've saved enough... and if Bro wanted to come along...

"Miss?"

A voice filters into my pleasant daydreams.

"Excuse me. Miss?"

"Oh?" I look up, blushing. I've reached the front of the queue without even noticing, and the nice lady is calling to me. "Ohayo!" I say, brightly, as I approach the counter. I like this shop assistant; her name is Rie and she always asks me how I am.

"What can I help you with?" she asks.

Oh. "Um, a package came in for me a few days ago," I tell her, handing over the little paper slip. "Here."

"Ah. Let me just get that for you," she says, politely, and heads into the storage area. I watch her go, feeling a little disjointed. Why didn't she say hello?

Rie emerges from the access door with the package under her arm. "Here we go, miss," she says, looking down at the address on the parcel. "Miss... Oh, Todo-san! How are you?"

"I'm... just fine," I say, with a smile. "How have you been?"

"Oh, as well as can be expected!" she laughs, putting the parcel on the counter. Then she pauses, looking at me thoughtfully. "There's something different about you, but I can't quite put my finger... You look different, anyway. I almost didn't recognise you!" She laughs again, lightly. "Must be getting forgetful in my old age or something! Anyway, here you go. Hope to see you soon."

"Yes," I murmur, taking the package. "Yes, I hope so too..."

I walk away, more disturbed by the incident than I'm willing to admit to myself.

21.

I'm laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. I finished my studies and I'm just letting my mind wonder.

It's been several weeks since I've seen or heard from Kana. School has been keeping me busy and I don't have much time for anything else.

...

Actually, I've had plenty of time to see her or call her but I haven't done it.

I just...I just haven't felt like it I guess.

I can't really explain it but when I'm done studying and I ponder what I want to do, I just know that what I don't want to do is go visit Kana. I don't really know why. Kana hasn't done anything nor said anything to upset me. I know she's not busy all the time.

So...why?

I decide to change these thoughts. I spring up from my bed and get ready to go to Kana's bookstore.

---

Why?

I'm on my way to the bookstore. It's not much further. Meanwhile, my mind still continues to ponder.

I'm not so sure the reason. It's not like I'm afraid of anything. Afraid of what? I don't know. It's more like there's something I'd rather avoid.

That's it...

Avoiding something...there's just something unfamiliar about it all and it makes me uncomfortable. And who likes to feel uncomfortable? If you can help it wouldn't you avoid it?

But what is it?

I still don't know. I my heart knows the reason but I can't find the words to say it. And I guess since I can't put this feeling into words is why I've been avoiding Kana.

Is that a good reason?

I don't think it is. But that is the reason even if I don't understand it.

I arrive at the bookstore and walk in. I find Kana's back facing me as she's putting more books on the shelf.

"Hi Kana. I'm ba-ck"

Kana turns around smiling at me.

"Hi Bro. Welcome back."

---

I know what it was. I know why I didn't want to see Kana. Why I was avoiding her as much as I could.

...

...

...

You just don't look at me the same anymore...

22.

"So, um... how's business today?" I ask.

"Not too bad," she says, still smiling. "I'm expecting more of a rush later this afternoon, so I thought I'd stock the shelves now, before it gets too busy."

"I... see." I can't look at her while I'm talking. It's... it's just too unnerving. It's Kana standing there; it's my little sister--

And yet, somehow, it's not.

"No class today?" she asks, as she turns back to her work. From behind, she looks the same as ever. She's skinny and almost stick-like in her dress and loose cardigan. She has hips, but they're not pronounced. Not really 'womanly'.

She's not the girl she was. But she's not quite a woman, either. She's somewhere in between.

"Bro?" she asks, in a preoccupied tone. "You okay?"

"What?" I shake my head, blinking. "Oh. I... I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night. I was up late studying."

"That's great, Bro. Do your best, ne?"

Do your best...

Suddenly, I flash back to Kana sitting in her hospital bed. I see my hand in hers. And I'm looking into her eyes as she looks back at me.

"Bro, please... do your best. Study hard. Don't worry about me..."

"Kana..."

I see myself in her eyes. I see the trust and love - the faith she has in me. I don't want to let her down...

"...Bro? Bro!"

"Uh, wha--?" I come back to reality to find Kana looking at me, amused.

"Maybe you should go home and take a nap?" she suggests, with a smile. "You keep drifting off on me."

I look away from her eyes and that confident smile. It's... She isn't... But she's happy. She's happy now. Stop being selfish, Taka!

"Maybe I will." I nod, smiling back. I hesitate for a moment before going on. "My exams will be over in a couple of weeks. After that, I'll have more free time. Would you... do you think you'd like to..."

"Miss?" someone complains, loudly. "Excuse me - miss? Could I get some service here, please?"

"Oh. Hold that thought, Bro," Kana says, reaching out to pat my arm. "I'll be right back. Yes!" she calls, hurrying over to the counter. "What can I do for you?"

I stare after her, the words like a lump in my throat.

Let's go have dinner together, Kana. Just you and me.

Why couldn't I say them?

Kana's behind the counter now. She smiles at the customer, her voice bright and cheerful. She's standing so tall and proud - not self-conscious at all.

I turn around and leave the store.

23.

"Thank you. Have a good day."

Things have been going smoothly as of late. Ever since I've worn my contacts everything just feels...normal.

I can walk around town without people staring at me. I can walk into a store and ask for someone's help without a double take. I don't have to catch people pretending like they're not watching me. I know what they were looking at...

...my purple eyes.

I feel better though. I know those wondering eyes no longer follow me around everywhere I go. It's almost like a dream come true. It's what I've always wanted...to be like everyone else. I'm just another face in the crowd. I don't have to stand out.

So I've been going out more and more. I've been shopping in stores I haven't been to, I've gotten onto the train and seen cities I haven't been to before and I've even had the chance to go to a festival all by myself.

It's also helped that I can finally see. Taking in the beauties of the world. Enjoying all of nature's colors. I'm exploring the world and I'm doing it on my own.

...

...

...

So...why?

Why are some things...changing?

I've noticed it little by little but it's showing more and more. There are times when I feel like...like I'm not there, like I've completly dissapeared.

When I talk to people sometimes they seems to feel...lost, I think? It's like they don't know how to talk to me or what do say to me. The strange thing is that it's not strangers acting this way...

...it's everyone else I knew before.

I took a little time and saw mom and dad but it felt like they didn't even know I was there. The cafe I have breakfast haven't felt like my visits were special in any way. And...

...and he's been different the most.

It was a while inbetween the times I saw him. He hasn't even called me in a while. I know he's busy with school but I didn't even know he left the last time I saw him. And even in that short time it just...just...

...just wasn't him.

I'm happy. I know I am. Words can't describe how wonderful these last few weeks have been and I look forward to even more wonderful days.

"But Bro...what's wrong?" I ask...

...but no one answers.

24.

I stare at the phone. It's the same ritual every day. I've come to think of it as the Taka Todo Brotherliness Challenge.

And today, like so many other days, I flunk it miserably.

I sigh heavily, walking past the phone and heading upstairs. Why is it so hard? Why can't I just... pick the darn thing up and call her?

Hey, Kana, how's things? I haven't seen you for a while. How about I drop by sometime and we go get something to eat? Sound good?

How hard is it to say that?

I skulk into my room and slump down at the desk. I have study to do, but I can't seem to find any motivation at the moment. Instead I just prop my elbows on the desk and bury my face in my hands.

Kana.

You haven't really changed, have you? Just because you look different doesn't mean you are different...

But she acts different now!

I sit up as the thought flashes through my head. She does. She even talks differently these days. She... she doesn't seem the same anymore. She's not the shy Kana that she used to be...

And so? What now? Are you just going to give up on her because she doesn't make you feel special anymore?

"Shut up!" I snarl to myself. "Just shut up! That's not it at all! I... I don't love Kana just because she needs me. I... I'm not that shall--"

Bro... hold my hand like you did before.

Bro, I want you to come see me again.

I love you, Bro...

Or am I?

25.

It's just another day like any other day.

I'm here in my room doing nothing in particular. Nothing has changed. We haven't seen each other in a while and the thought of it still weighs on my mind.

"How long has it been?" I wonder.

I continue to stare out the window.

"I should just go there." I say to myself. "It's not like I'm not welcome. I've been there plenty of times. I should be able...I should just..."

I stare at the blue sky. It invites me to walk out into it. It's telling me I should go.

I have to do something. Nothing will change if I just don't go there and do it.

I leave my place and finally decide to take some action.

---

I walk, I ride the train and I walk some more. All the time I'm thinking about what I'm going to say when I finally get there.

"Hey! Long time no see-"

No...

"I was just walking around and-"

That's no good either.

"Surprise! I thought that-"

Definitly not that.

But it seems I've run out of time. I'm already standing outside the door. I just seem to stare at the handle until the door suddenly swings open.

"Um!"

"Hi Bro...How are you?" I ask.

"W-What brings you here Kana?" He asks.